i have had a lot on my mind this weekend so i did not want to use my time to write in this diary, so i will do it now instead.
Friday i wasn’t really happy, so i got drunk, watched tv-series and got emotional, it was not that spiritual, but a release of pressure that i believe i needed, the main emotions that surfaced friday night was a feeling of being alone and a feeling of being worthless, both feelings that are somewhat reoccurring in my life and that i have not yet found the root of, but i will. Eventually.
Saturday i attended a streamed seminar with Maha Vajra, the topic was shortly told: how to fuse the profane with the sacred.
Sunday was the second day of the streamed seminar with Maha Vajra, this day the topic, on request of one of the participants, was: how to ascend quickly.
condensed version of what i understood:
- do daily practice(more than 20 minutes) if you want to ascend fast, do the work.
- observe why you are pessimistic and do not think you can archive something when you have not tried yet.
- have an open mind to try out options, and never rule out anything before you have tested it.
- Do things with others in mind, do not do things purely for yourself, but do not do it purely for others either, find the balance between the two.
- develop the mindset of “I do not know how to do this, but i will find out.”
on a more personal note, i reacted to something Maha said that made me realize that he thinks that i benefits others, and it seems i do not agree with that, i can see intellectually that i benefits those around me, but i do not agree emotionally, i have some deep rooted feeling of not being enough i think. so i used some time after the seminar meditating to observe this feeling, when the feeling subsided i did a bit of meditation on joy and then proceeded to go for a evening walk, before sitting down to try and work on a assignment i had to do.
GuruDev
GuruDev's experiences 