Today I started with the lords prayer, before I did my 9 malas of the air mantra, today I had no problems staying conscious through the meditation ,but on the other hand I did not feel as powerful as I did the two first days, I think this had something to do with the fact that my mind was racing with thoughts.
After the 9 malas, I did some integration on the subject of being in service to others and what makes me not want to do it sometimes.
the last thing I did after I ended my integration, was the second avatar mantra for about ten minutes, the meditation session lasted about an hour.
GuruDev
GuruDev's experiences 
I’m curious, what did you find about this issue on not wanting to help others? Because, I believe it’s normal not wanting to help others all the time and I have been one of the worst egocentric person in the world about that, I wouldn’t care about how others feel, but I finaly got out of it. For me the solution is to observe selfishness for a very long time and the suffering og being selfish finaly goes out and then you can change this potential inside.
well i found that there are several reasons for my unwillingness to help others, such as laziness(not wanting to do the effort) which I think is a symptom of a greed, “what is in it for me?”. sometimes it is a matter of that i feel out of place and do not dare help even if i know it would be beneficial and I want to. but it is usually some sort of laziness that blocks me from helping out. so i think i have to figure out why I don’t think these situations as a worthy enough cause to help out in, when i am usually not doing anything else anyway.
That makes a lot of sense; greed. Everything we do, we do it to get something out of it. If I may give you an advice, observe greed as if you were observing an emotion. The moment your gaze will be put on this poison of existence, youw ill get wisdom out of it and experiences of course. And of course, you can practice at doing stuff for others one time by day let’s say, knowing that you will get nothing out of it. For example, there were this old man waiting at the bus station, bothering everyone and when the bus arrived he went in front, without thinking about the people who was there before him. The thing is, he was not able to get in the bus because of the snow and no one wanted to help him. So I took his arm and I helped him to get in the bus. He said nothing, didn’t even looked at me and I knew it when I done it. I knew I would get nothing out of it, but you know what? I felt great about it, because every time we defeat our ego, there is a feeling of bliss that comes, there is the presence of the soul that inhabits your body.
I am going to try to observe that. The funny part about helping others is that I have experienced multiple times how it is gratifying to help others, but for some reason i forget that quite quickly again, but I am just going to try to do it more 😀
Sure. Does it bother you that I comment your work like that? Because you didn’t ask for advices after all. Anyway, feel free to let me know,
No, quite the opposite, I love that you take the time to read and comment on it, and i do like getting advice, and if I ever should get tired of it I will let you know. So whenever you find something you think I would benefit from knowing, please do not hesitate to tell me 🙂
Good! very nice colors by the way…:p